Sure enough, at his next performance, the conductor began with the small hand-gun concealed in the his jacket. While lying in bed one night with his wife of many years, he turned to her and said 'Dear, would you be able to get me a small hand-gun?' 'Yes dear', she said, and he rolled over and went to sleep. 'Oh no you don't', his manager said, 'you're not retiring.'įorced backed to work by his manager, he endured week after week of conducting he no longer wanted to do. He walked from the stage, only to be met by his manager, standing in between two gorilla-sized bodyguards. I'm now announcing my retirement.'Īfter a few minutes silence from the shocked audience, and orchestra too, he was greeted with boos and hisses. Once the performance had finished, he turned and faced the audience and said 'Ladies and Gentleman, this is my last performance as a world class conductor. The audience didn't notice, the orchestra didn't notice either, but he knew he'd made the mistake and decided that he should retire. 'Christmas tree?' 'Yes, dead from the root and the balls hang there just for decoration.LOL: The world's best and most famous conductor makes a small mistake while conducting the New York Symphony Orchestra. Her mom is a little surprised, but then she looks at her husband and answers: 'Yes, my daughter, a man goes through three stages: At age 20, the penis is like an oak, stately and hard At 30 to 40 years, the penis is like a birch, flexible but reliable, after 50 years the penis will look like a Christmas tree. So that the daughter asks: 'May I ask a personal question, Mama, how many types of penises are there?' This misogynistic display has the mother and daughter seeing red.

'Yes, if you see them, they make you cry!'

'At 30 to 40, the breasts are still like pears but hanging a little, after 50, the breasts are like onions. His father is a little surprised, but answers: 'Yes, my son, there are three varieties of breasts.' At 20, the woman has breasts that are like melons, round and firm. The young man asks his dad, 'Dad, how many varieties of breasts are there?' A family is sitting at the dining table getting ready for a holiday feast and the son asks if he can ask a question.

Jokes for dinner table